Summer is Calling
SUMMER. Summer is a wonderful season! It is a time to reflect and let go. It invites the opportunity to wash away the old and bask in the new, to awake from hibernation and experience the new world that presents itself. BUT Summer in Chicago is unlike anything that I have ever experienced!!! (It’s my 1st Summer here!) There is a buzz in the air, a constant promise of daring adventure, relaxation, and enlightenment. It is MAGICAL!!! Something I have been sitting with since my breakup and this new journey that I have started to take on my own is this idea of seasonal healing. I came across this quote a month ago on one of my searches for inspiration and advice:
Promise me that you will never
Allow yourself to be loved in halves
Again, that you will fall in love with
Someone who makes you question
Why you ever thought you weren’t
Whole to begin with. Promise me
That you will rise with this new
Spring, that you will thaw your
Winter wounds with summers air
And pack the gaps of your heart
With its soil – for what a gift it is to
Be new again, what a gift it is to
I have felt the change in me. The pull to the new, or if anything the part of me that has always been there but was never given the opportunity to flourish. This new phase of me feels strong and open, Fearful BUT Fearless. For the past month I have seen the growth. I have witnessed the steps that I have taken on my own towards the things that I want. I have felt the growing pains and experienced the doubt. But it is finally happening. I am allowing Summer to help me shed my old tired skin, and I am transforming.
This transformation has been something that I think I have always longed for! As an artist I have always wanted to fly. As a person I have always wanted to be free. I think they go hand in hand. The jolt of freedom that flying gives you is exhilarating. When I fly (what I like to call letting go of all my inhibitions) I feel free. I feel like my soul has space to expand to its full potential. I am unstoppable and anything is possible. And boy, I am here to tell you my soul and imagination is too much for this tiny body to hold. They are infinite! And I have to share them with the world!
I saw a little girl, about two, on the street the other afternoon. In the middle of the city, a place that can feel so secluded and hard, I saw this little girl skip and sing down the street. She moved where she wanted, and the crowds parted for her. She was flying! She was free! No self-doubt, no judgmental glances from other people, she was just being and doing what she wanted. I remember thinking: I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT!! WHEN DID I LOSE THAT!!?? But I understand now that I never lost it. It was hidden – buried underneath all the weight that living can trick you into holding and keeping and believing you need. I am letting go of the old and welcoming the new. That is where I am going to travel to as I continue this journey. At this crossroads that I am standing at I find myself looking to my old self saying, “It’s okay. It’s okay to let go and just be. You do not need to find yourself through the eyes of another…instead find yourself in what you do, the choices you make.” I chose to love myself and allow the choices that follow to awaken new relationships and opportunities. I want to be in love with my LIFE….with ME!! I want to be free. Here is to breaking rules, to allowing my child out. Here’s to my wild abandon! To Summer days and magical nights filled with amazing escapades and growth. Here is to my GOOF to the crazy, wild, magical, fiery woman I have always been but am now setting free.
Here is to you madam, the door is wide open – Go be free!
Thank you Alys (my right-hand lady) for filming this moment, and for saying YES to the unplanned, inspiringly perfect rain.
Song: The Dog Days Are Over - Florence and The Machine (MTV Unplugged)